Friday, March 28, 2014
Not about crochet but something I need to write about. On Tuesday I got an unexpected and surprising Facebook message (Note here my family is different my cousins are older than I am on my fathers side some closer to my moms age since there are only 20 years difference between mom and I)My cousin's daughter private messaged me on Tuesday that her father my cousin(62 years old) was in the ICU in critical condition and not expected to make it. That happened in one day we knew he had cirrhosis of the liver but at some point it turned to cancer on Tuesday his blood stopped clotting he had swelling of the brain and was put on a ventilator. He's now breathing on his own but the doctors are saying he has days if he's lucky weeks? On Wednesday my Aunt from my moms side of the family called and said her son has small cell carcinoma on his liver and lungs and has 3 to 6 months to live. Now my cousin on moms side has been battling mental illness all his life also (schizophrenia)He has made the choice to refuse treatments i.e. chemo and radiation he said he didn't think the added 2 or 3 years possible was worth it. Of course we all support him and it saddens all of us.(mom had a problem with his choice at first) But with the fight he has against the schizophrenia and then the weakness and sickness with the other treatments he just doesn't see the quality in life. He's 55 years old now.I was lucky and prayers are powerful I survived cervical cancer in 1993 it was found when I was 5 months pregnant. I am not superstitious but I am working on the same blanket that I had for others and found out they were critically ill it's kind of eerie after 18 years of not doing the stitch and having this all at once. I will continue the blanket as it is made prayerfully it's really turning into a prayer afghan instead of a prayer shawl.
Monday, March 24, 2014
I have been crocheting an afghan( progress pictures below) I am enjoying it but it's bitter sweet. I didn't learn the granny square first like most people do when they start out crocheting I learned the shell stitch It wasn't good the first thing I crocheted was a blanket for my grandmother I had the most amazing grandmother in the world no lie! She never had a negative word to say about anyone. She would tell me stories about her childhood filled with pet goats and all things good she told me her grandparents raised her I forgot what happened to her parents about 3 or 4 years ago I found out she was in an orphanage and the people that she called grandparents were actually either an Aunt and uncle or great aunt and uncle not clear and evidently not all things were as rosy as she said not that she lied she wanted me to grow up happy.She was my super hero.Anyways back to the blanket.I crocheted it when I was around 17 maybe she died when I was 23 I saw this same blanket a few months after she passed I helped my Aunt who she lived with get things together I had forgotten about it,but there it was folded at the end of her bed it was horrible stitches missed so totally uneven I looked at my aunt and said where did that come from? My Aunt smiled and said from you. I said why would she keep such a horrible looking thing? My Aunt said Grandma thought it was the beautiful thing ever made.Years later when I worked in a nursing home as an activity director I met a woman who reminded me of my grandmother I had fallen in love with this woman her family everyone when I transferred to another nursing home I started an afghan for her in shell while in the middle this adorable woman who never complained was sent to the hospital because she stopped going to activities which she loved I went at least every other day to visit her during her hospital stay she was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer I was devastated. She was put on hospice upon her return to the nursing home on my days off I spent the day with her while her daughter set out on a secret see this woman had children who she had not seen her in forty years we were able worked to get them to see her before she died. I worked furiously and was able to finish the afghan a month before she passed. That was around 18 years ago.I made one for my mother in law who I loved dearly around the same time as the lady in the nursing home I'll call her Mrs.C. maybe. she (my mother-in-Law) passed away in 2001. So the last time I did this stitch was 18 years ago and now I have started one for myself the other 2 afghans went to the daughters of the women I made the afghans for.So you see It's bitter sweet.Why confusing? I don't know how to handle my mother having C.O.P.D. I have worked in nursing homes,and hospitals for over 20 years. Woke up to see my husband dead on the floor Nov.10. But this is devastating.She has a nurse that comes 2 times a week so far her vitals are good but her coughing is horrible and at times she passes out. I need to get a job but can't leave her for long time intervals. That's the confusing bit.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Originally I started this because I am basically alone I'm afraid to leave the house for long periods of time because of my mom. She has C.O.P.D. and passes out from coughing. My husband died 5 years ago in a hotel we had been evacuated to because of hurricane Ike I woke up and found him on the floor. So I guess I was kind of traumatized and have never really come totally out of it I'm not as social as I used to be. That plus I live with my mom in an active senior living apartment complex is a combination that doesn't lead to alot of social gatherings that would be interesting for me. Not that I'm all that young but the age difference is 20+ years. I had this idea that THIS blog was going to be about crochet but I don't design alot and when I do I figure I am the only one that would like it so I don't share alot. As for writing out a pattern I wouldn't know how to even start so that someone else would understand . Because I decided this was about crochet it stays dormant for the most part unless I make something I am relatively proud of. What I set to do when I decided to blog was just to write out everything my thoughts daily goings on and such to keep my sanity but after reading others blogs (some of you are intimidating) You all are so interesting and bright and I got scared. And thought they will think I'm crazy or won't find me interesting. Add to all of this my punctuation is horrible and I have many run on sentences and sentence structure is not so good either.I account for this because of A.D.D. Lately I have many things going through my mind that I have to write them out sometimes it helps to work out the problems that are bothering me. What better forum other than a blog? Not that I want to blast all my personal life but my handwriting is so bad even I can't read it at times. My teachers weren't happy that was a time when writing was emphasized. I guess i am writing this to say why it's dormant alot not that I have a lot of followers I'm not even sure if anyone reads this. Not important this is for me and if it helps in any way for someone to read it I LOVE IT I have one blogger friend that is so encouraging and positive that I feel the need to thank her now and let her know how precious she is I know that she is that way to almost everyone I have seen her posts. Her name is Amanda from crafty in the med HERE. Ok like a lot of times I am not sure how or where to end this so I am just going to say not sure what I will do but I have written some things on another blog that I have temporarily set up ,and who knows? I may just keep this one erase that one and just start writting here my brain is a jumble of things and even I a surprised sometimes.
Monday, February 17, 2014
https://www.facebook.com/ByAmber/photos/a.409045032546352.1073741830.399947910122731/512624332188421/?type=1&theater Her name is Amber Her sister's house was burned cars,everything her husband and 6 kids are safe. here is one notice from fb SAVE 40% in my Raverly store.
I'm hosting a sale of my patterns in an effort to help raise funds for my sister and her family who've just experienced a tragic house fire that caused them to lose everything. 100% of the sales will go to her to help her get a few necessities. As many of you saw yesterday, my sister lost everything in a terrible house fire. I would like to host an auction for her to help raise funds so that she and her children can recover from this. If you would like to donate a custom/made-to-order item, a finished item, a pattern, percentage discount to your store. . . anything, please just private message me!
We all are thankful and grateful for anything you may be able to donate for auction.
Please, even if you can't buy a pattern, would you share this post?
Link to raverly store is in the http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.raverly.com%2Fstores%2Fknotted-notions&h=5AQHD0Zqc They Have a gofund me account http://www.gofundme.com/6x8jek
Another notice As many of you saw yesterday, my sister lost everything in a terrible house fire. I would like to host an auction for her to help raise funds so that she and her children can recover from this. If you would like to donate a custom/made-to-order item, a finished item, a pattern, percentage discount to your store. . . anything, please just private message me!
We all are thankful and grateful for anything you may be able to donate for auction.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
I have this very clear picture in my mind of a pattern it's perfect, relatively simple (in my mind) I even started writing a pattern this is how sure my mind is that whats in my head is exactly what should translate easily onto the end of my crochet hook and become a pet bed for Cody. I think my silly little dog was a cat in another life. He loves yarn and anything crocheted. I took out quite a bit of my larger left over balls of yarn to play with on this pattern stuck in my head that refuses to translate to finished project. There were about 10 balls of yarn Cody politely curls up on top of them and falls asleep which sends my 23 year old daughter in to giggles. And makes me wanting to throw both of them into another room. I just don't get it why I can't just get it right.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
So my first needful thing would be encouragement and hints to be more forthcoming and active.
I lost my job(I was a Home Health Provider) in December which is a mixed blessing I live with my mom in a an active senior 55 and over living apartment complex. Her health isn't the best she's 69 and has C.O.P.D. she passes out at times during a coughing fit. and possibly other health related illnesses (we may never know the only "Dr." she has is a home-health P.A.) Don't get me wrong I love the P.A. and trust her but even she thinks mom needs a specialist also.
That being said I need bright and cheery coffee cups they make me smile I love coffee mostly in the morning.
I need Yarn always yarn I'm not picky I have never used anything but Red Heart Super Saver so now you know my little secret.
I need little scissors to cut the yarn with I lost my favorite ones.
I need cheerful things even at 48 years old I love stuffed animals cozy blankets anything cute and colorful things in life are stressful and it always helps to have kitschy things to make you smile.
I need to be more faithful in my bible studies and devotions.I received a beautiful Bible and lots of devotionals and bible study books for Christmas I just need to have more discipline so
I need journals to write about my frustrations things I'm thankful for to remind me to be more thankful.
To go along with the need above I need cute pens to write with.I have pen a fascination.
I need crochet in my life always It's my sanity my therapy.So I always need crochet patterns the cuter the better.
I need to help people it truly is a need I think it's to forget about the stress in my life and focus on relieving someone else's stress.
I need time management skills I never have enough time to do the things I want to do.
I need my Quaker Parrot Racal he's a joy to have he talks and makes me laugh even when I don't feel like laughing. always says hey baby. He's five years old.
I need to socialize more since moving here I have no one my age to have conversations with,don't get me wrong I have worked in the geriatric field (fast becoming one myself) for 20+ years but sometimes I am so "locked in the house" I worry about mom and her health I don't take care of my needs. no I'm not being a martyr it's my choice and wouldn't trust anyone else to stay with her.
I need books I love to read mysteries are my first choice,then any fictional books I do not read sci/fi and romance is something I basically stay from unless it has a real story, cozy mystery books are fun and quick to read. I need real books I can turn the pages and feel the paper as I get lost in the story. I have read books with a tablet it was fun at first something different.
I need chocolate well I do yes I do.LOL
I need to be less sarcastic some times people don't get my humor
I'm fairly certain I have exceeded the amount of "needful things" but this has been so much fun to think about I get carried away I can't forget the most important things I need God,my kids even though they are young adults(you never stop needing them do you?) My little dog Cody chihuahua/shitzu.